Punishment

Punishment Jokes

Stepdad

What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?

My stepdad beat my ass before he left.

Abortion

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

Helen Keller

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Problem

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

Summer

Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.

Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🀣🀣🀣

Nun

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸŒˆ

Math test

So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.

Brother

My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

Weed

You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

Stuff

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Cat

Q: Why did the cat get arrested?

A: He was caught littering.