Punishment jokes
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week. She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Little Johnny was at home and then he went to his grandma's house. He went there to cuss so he wouldn't get in trouble, and secretly, Grandma called his momma to come pick him up.
Momma asked what Little Johnny did, and she said he cussed and cussed and cussed. Granny had enough and called Mom again. Momma said Little Johnny was grounded for 2 weeks, and Little Johnny cussed some more. Now he grounded for 3 weeks.
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"