Punishment jokes
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
Teacher, what do you call sex making out with a C.I.W.?
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!