Punchline Jokes

Wife

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

Road

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.

Swing

Why did Sally fall off the swings?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally!

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  • Corn

    I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

    Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

    Head

    What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

    Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

    Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet

    Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

    Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

    Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!

    Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!

    Hand

    OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.

    Dinosaur

    1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

    A dino-snore!

    2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

    A rocket chip!

    3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

    Because she was stuffed!

    4. What has ears but cannot hear?

    A cornfield!

    5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

    Between us, something smells!

    Dad

    I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

    But I only remember the punch lineπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘Š

    Rose

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

    Matter

    Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?

    Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

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  • Boomerang

    Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?

    Me: The boomerang came back.

    Baby

    Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?

    They never get old.

    High-five

    Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.

    Knock

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Orange.

    Orange who?

    Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!