What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
