New Punchline Jokes - Page 12

What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?

A zom-BEE.

I have a really good joke.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.

Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?

A: Nothing! He was hung over.

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

What did the math book say to the other math book?

Wanna hear my problems?

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!

i told my friend an egg joke yesterday he thought it was eggcelent.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

None of these jokes really took off.

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad but I can only think of the punchline.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"