Punch jokes

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"

Me: punching a kid.

My FBI agent: You're adopted.

Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.

Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.

Silence...................punch!

Wanna hear a pun?

Welp, I'll punch you with one!

Want to hear a pun?

Well, I'll punch you with one!

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.

What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?

It’s twelve o'clock.

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

Today there was a line to punch me.

Yeah, that was the punch line.

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!