Punch jokes
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
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If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.
They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.