Punch Jokes

Wanna hear a pun?

Welp, I'll PUNch you with one!

Want to hear a pun?

Well, I'll PUNch you with one!

What did the clock say when it got punched at noon? It’s twelve ow clock.

What kind of punch hurts a kid the most? A sandyhook

I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming

So I walk in to a bar and There’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face

That’s the punch line

What is a superhero’s 🦸‍♀️ favorite drink?

Fruit punch!🍷👊💥😂

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says,”What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?” The boy cries. Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says,”You gonna tell your mom?”, the little boy says, Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over.

I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty”

That’s when Penaldo asked “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

How do you make a baby cry?

You punch it in the face.

Whats the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?

A Sandy Hook

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

What is it called what a gay guy punches someone?

- Fruit Punch

Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can't wait to see it"

So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers"

i don't need a punch in karens are the only joke i need

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good so he started selling it to taco bell then ate a cow all the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then game them some toe jam they loved it so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam it was so good then one of the aliens ate there dog so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.