Punch jokes

If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.

What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?

Fruit punch.

What is a superhero’s 🦸‍♀️ favorite drink?

Fruit punch!

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤

The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.

There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.

Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?

A. They always seem to punch down.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.

How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.

How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.

My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.

A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.