Pull Jokes

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

A tree with a hammer and a comb stuck in the bark. The text above the image reads: "Slavcalibur. He who pulls it from the tree becomes the king of Yugoslavia."

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.

Son, he is dinner.

Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.

Also dwarf: can’t see.

What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.

What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!

A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?

Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂

If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?

What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?

Hair pull.

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.