Pull jokes

Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.

A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?

Boston cream pie.

What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?

Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.

Son, he is dinner.

What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.