Pull jokes

Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.

What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?

Boston cream pie.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?

Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.

Son, he is dinner.

Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.

Also dwarf: can’t see.

What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.