What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
What did Jay z say when he got pulled over? I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.
Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.
Your hairline got pulled back you look like you've been climbing Chris and you got smacked up by Will Smith
When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair ? At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
