Psychology

Psychology jokes

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.