Psychology jokes
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
Who am I?
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."