Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
