Prostitution jokes
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis? A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Q: What's a hooker's favourite SpongeBob episode?
A: Rock Bottom.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.