Prostitution jokes
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.