Prostitution

Prostitution Jokes

Street

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

Hooker

What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.

Nun

What is the difference between whores and nuns?

Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.

Pimp

What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?

Condoms!

Buck

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?

There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.

Man

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Lightbulb

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More than three because the basement is still dark!

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  • Whore

    What do condoms and whores have in common?

    Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

    Dad

    What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?

    Hookers come back.

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  • Time

    Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?

    A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.

    Hooker

    What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

    The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

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  • Hooker

    How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    One, cause they'll screw anything.

    Job

    What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

    Your job still sucks.

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  • Hooker

    What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

    I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.