Prostitution jokes
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.