Probability Jokes

My cousin asked me "What do you think was going through Hitlers mind right before he died"

I told him "Probably a bullet"

Why does Sans like puns so much, probably because he finds them humourus

**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?

I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him rape

all of the people disliking this catorgory are probably emo

I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry

Motivational Quote for today: if you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11? Person 2: No, but'll probably crash and burn.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victims Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..." Me: "Honestly...Probably his ass."

I would tell a 911 joke but it would probably crash and burn.

Friend: Why don't you cut your hair? Me: Dunno, but i'll probably cut my wrists first

If I called you gay you would probably hit me with your purse

what where paul walkers last words

idk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREEE"

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

When you think you're depressed but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self loating but then you realise that it in itself might actually be a symptom of depression

Well gang it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands