Probability jokes

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?

Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."

What do you call someone who fixes walls?

Juan, probably.

If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.