Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”
Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, “God is watching you when you masturbate”.
I said, “Is God a pedophile too, Father?”
Do you know where priests go at night???
To all night sale a boys r us
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f… altar boys
Man walks up to a priest. The man says “I am Jesus Christ.” The priest says “No you are not my son.” The man says " Follow me." The man walks into the bar and the bartender says “Jesus Christ your back!”
Why do they call priest father? Because it’s too suspicious to call him daddy!
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
“Let us prey together.”
What is the difference between a Priest and a Doctor
The Doctor doesn’t like to give physicals.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar…
He orders a drink.
What’s the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common - They both like fairies sitting on them.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.