President jokes
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Trump, must I say more?
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.