President jokes
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
When is Donald Trump?
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."
"Why?"
"He was very open-minded!"
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.