How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
Trump is so orange that he makes the oompa loompa's look white.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
