President jokes
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Memes
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What did Obama ask Trump?
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."