Pregnant jokes
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!