Pregnant

Pregnant jokes

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.

Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*

She has cancer.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.

Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

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    • You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?