Pregnant jokes

Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.

If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?

What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?

You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

What do you call a three-humped camel?

Pregnant.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.