Pregnant jokes
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
I don't like condoms, but I like gay pregnant X.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.