It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Do you know Ligma... potatoes?
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
Get pranked, bozo!
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
