Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday, he gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it. I asked him what was the bullseye for he said target practice
Them: whats on your arm? Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment. In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo). During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854. Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
Q. How does an Isis terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
My cousin: “how’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when ur at softball practice?!” Me: “lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Teacher: Okay class look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word. Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny" Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny? Me: Cuz she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing? Your hairline.
i got jealous of the zebras, sorry i’ll cut it out, i wanted to practice for my med school test
What do dentists play at their practice? Dental records
Lady: Can I lick your balls? Me: Ummmmm, Ok? Lady: grabs ball sack and licks my balls Me: I gonna have to clean these now Lady: Let me do that Me: No thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control? An edgelord
At baseball practice... Hey John did you bring the bucket of balls? No but I got two right here
Why cant orphan play soccer? bc thay cant pratis white there dad .
