Politics jokes
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
What about women's lefts?
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
How to run from Iran?
Iran away!
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
what does BLM stand for?
Biden loves minors.
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
Make America Great Britain again!
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.