Politics jokes
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Memes
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!