Politics jokes
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
He wasn't that bad.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
Women’s rights.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
"myname is president trump i am stupid!!! I am SO STUPID!! AJsifdjsaoifjhdsfoijds"
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.