Politics jokes
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didnβt fall. π
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. πππ
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but heβd have to wait 10 years to get it.
Memes
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because heβs used to being in the teens.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein FΓΌhrer ist steckenbleiben in meinen ZΓ€hnen."
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they donβt have rights.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
What is similar between Hitler and Trump?
They both want to keep races out.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they donβt live in a swing state.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy