Politics jokes
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.