Politics jokes
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
Lmao Trump and Putin dislike my jokes! 🤣😂
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!
It was eloHssA OllEH!!
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
Qassem Soleimani is so popular today.
I mean, he just blew up overnight!
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.