Politics jokes
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.
Memes
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.