Politics jokes
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!
What's the Twin Towers' most favorite band? Al Qaedirection.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
He wasn't that bad.
When is Donald Trump?
Pink Floyd + Donald Trump = Same.
Trump plays Fortnite for walls.
He plays Fortnite just to build walls.
Trump, just why?
"North America, best America."
I'm glad.