Politics jokes

What do you and Joe Biden have in common?

Nobody loves you or him.

What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?

No one loves them!

I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.

What's Mussolini's favorite food?

Fussolini!

Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.

And they created The Green Party.

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Why is the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

JFK is definitely a bottom.

JFK

Half is definitely a bottom.

Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?

A comb-over.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!

What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?

They all produce horrible shit.

Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.

So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.

Why do orphans want to be communist?

So they would have a motherland.

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.