Politics jokes

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.

What do you call a nazi that can’t see?

A nozi.

Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?

A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!

What do you and Joe Biden have in common?

Nobody loves you or him.

What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?

No one loves them!

I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.

What's Mussolini's favorite food?

Fussolini!

Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.

And they created The Green Party.

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Why is the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

JFK is definitely a bottom.

JFK

Half is definitely a bottom.

Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?

A comb-over.