Politics jokes
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
All hail President Trump!
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
When you fail art school.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
What do you call a blind Nazi?
A Not-See!
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Why does America have more guns than people?
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.