Politics jokes
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.
"Sharing is communism."
Q: Why are most Americans bad at chess?
A: Because they lost their Twin Towers.
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
England: No towers?
America: No queen?
England: Remember 1812?
America: No tea?
JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck