What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP? The condom was actually useful at one point.
Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Make America Great Britain again!
Donald Trump will return to Twitter.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
