Politics jokes
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
Why can’t Hitler join the track? Because he can’t even finish a race.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.