Politics jokes
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
"myname is president trump i am stupid!!! I am SO STUPID!! AJsifdjsaoifjhdsfoijds"
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
Why is North Korea so good at Geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Hitler.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
Trump.
Get it because Trump is a joke hahaha, I am sooo bad!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.