Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
