Politics jokes
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
Yo mama so American, she deported Dora the Explorer!
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on Trump's wall 24 hours every day.
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
He jizzes canned cheese.
Donald Trump is a good president and not a complete moron.
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
Hey, wanna hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"