Player

Player jokes

Ghost

  • Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.

    Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.

    Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!

  • 1
  • Night

  • I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

  • 2
  • Contract

  • ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

    Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

    Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

    Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

    I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

  • 1
  • Invisibility cloak

  • I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

    That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

  • 1
  • Game

  • My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

    Me: So tell me about it then.

    My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

    Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

    My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

    Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

    My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

    Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

    My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

    Me: My bad again. Do continue.

    My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

    Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

    My cousin: By the game.

    Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

  • 3
  • Glory Hole

  • Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?

    Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.

  • 3
  • Creature

  • I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.

    He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Farmer

  • As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

  • 1
  • Penaldo

  • You caught a Penaldo!

    Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.

    Type: Ghost type.

    Moves: Dive

    Disappear in big games

    Cry for pens

    Statpad vs farmers

    Sells underwear

  • 1
  • Penalty

  • 🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

    C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

    It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

    Gotta dive and cry some more.

    It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

    ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

    Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

  • 0
  • Frog

  • What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?

    The frog might be on his way to a gig!

  • 0
  • Football

  • The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

    He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

  • 0