Player jokes
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
You caught a Penaldo!
Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.
Type: Ghost type.
Moves: Dive
Disappear in big games
Cry for pens
Statpad vs farmers
Sells underwear
Why are basketball courts slippery?
Because the players dribble on it.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?
132.513.531.332
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬
Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.
“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
Player 138 eliminated...
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.