Player jokes
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?
132.513.531.332
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
I was about to go to sleep, but then I remembered my idol has 0 G/A, and it's mid-November. Thanks, Pessi, for ruining my sleep! 🤬
Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.
“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.
Player 138 eliminated...
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
MISSING!! MISSING!! ⚠️⚠️
Name: Kylian Fraudbappe Missing: 28/6/2021 vs Switzerland Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parc des Princes, Paris.
Last seen: Manuel Akanji’s back pocket.
Trump plays Fortnite for walls.
He plays Fortnite just to build walls.