A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’s a ball hog.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
