Play jokes
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.
Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!
Llama: What's your damn problem?
Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
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Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
"Osama bin Laden playing MW2 Air Strike inbound."