Plane jokes

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

What do birds and planes have in common?

They both fly into building windows.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

P.l.a.n.e.

Precious lord, are nonbelievers evil?

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp off a roof.

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!

I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.

Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."

Tony jumps off.

"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."

Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."

Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."

Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"

Two planes crashed into two separate towers.

Now two towers crash into two separate planes.

Did you know the food that was on the plane?

It was the bomb.

What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?

New York Jets.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.