Plane jokes

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?

A: An airport.

There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.

There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.

I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.

Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!

Why did the chicken cross the towers?

Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.

A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class!

"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”

Why were the twin towers fighting?

Because they ordered pepperoni but got plain.

What was the color of the wallpaper in the Twin Towers?

... plane.

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"

The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.

I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.

It’s a bird.

It’s a plane.

Oh, shit it is a plane!