Pizza

Pizza jokes

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Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.

Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.

Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?

A: They're both cheesy.

Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.

Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

Open a pizza shop 🍕