Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Who is Stephen Hawking?
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
He's dead now.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
