What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
you.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
