What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
I like balls.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
