Physicist jokes
What鈥檚 the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 馃珷?
Because he didn鈥檛 have emojis on his computer.
What did Schr枚dinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
I like balls.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.