Physicist jokes

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

What is a physicist's favorite food?

Fission chips.

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?

Hot Wheels.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?

He couldn’t stand anyone...

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?

The robot.

A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?

Spasticelastic.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

"Wait, I can explain everything!"

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

Stephen Hawking's coffin.

Stephen Hawking:

Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?

A:) Tesla

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.