How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
