Physicist jokes
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?
Because they can run out.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now? No, because he is dead.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
Why did Stephen Hawking go out in the rain?
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.