Physicist jokes
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.