As a son I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CCD. It was on speaker so me and mom hear both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did Michael Jackson die. Because I have a new phone number and he does not know
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
What did the cell phone say to his wife? i will give you a ring
Stephen hawkings tried charge his phone and unplugged his life support
My phone was at 10% and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen hawkin
Why did the orphan get an iphonX cause theirs no home button
I tried my best using phone sex online but the thing about it the holes can not fit through.
If you wanna get fat what's the quickest way to do it? Eat two jars of mayo each day and in about a month your scale will have your phone number!
My phone is just like the twin towers they got put in air plane mode
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex.... He died of hearing aids
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Man: Hey siri! Siri: Yes? Man: Im desperate, will you marry me? Siri: Uh... *phone literally explodes*
Brrr it's fucking cold outside aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh how about the latest phone! Who me? Oh I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket. I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
girlfriend: you remind me of a cell phone
girlfriend's ex: why?
Girlfriend: because your about to die
