Pet

Pet jokes

Fish

I have a fish that can breakdance!

Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

  • 5
  • Dog

    Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj.

  • 4
  • Depression

    Dentist: Open up, sir.

    Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

    Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

    Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

    Dentist: Do you need help??

    Me: Yep.

    Dentist: ...

    Me: ....

    Cat

    Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.

  • 1
  • Dog

    What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.

    Dog

    I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...

    It was impossible to put down.

    Dog

    billie: hi.

    me: You wanna hear a story?

    billie: Yes, sure.

    me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.

  • 3
  • Onion

    I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.

    Onions was such a good dog.

    Dog

    What do you call a dog with no legs?

    It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

    Life

    Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

    Son: Sure thing, dad!

    Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

    Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

    Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

    Dog name

    A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"

    Breakdance

    I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.

    For 20 seconds.

    And only once... :(

    Dad

    what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.