Pet jokes
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
What should you name a dog without any legs?
It doesn't really matter. No matter what you yell, he's not coming.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
I killed my cat.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
About a dog.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.