The last thing I said to my dog was Play dead
Why was the dog staying in the shade? Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
i told siri my dog and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up and i said okay.she asked me knock knock and i said who is there and she said not your dog
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name only the dog comes back.
*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"
Dog: "That's pretty sexist"
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What do you call a girl furry.
A pussy cat
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
I did a good walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and people live in the house with my dog I had to a dog and
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters. He was a great πthon.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sour-puss.
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
What does a Male Asian P*rnstar like to say? "I love eating cat"
My dog died I'm so sad
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat , but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
What yellow and can’t swim Your dead fish
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
Me holding a new cat: Say Hi to my little friend! My friends: Hi to my little friend!
A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
Right I have a dog and his name is syndrome and when ever he is Good I go back good syndrome but when ever he is naughty I go Down syndrome
