Pet jokes
What did the cat say to the jar of cookies?
"Ground beef!"
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
I love ❤️ dogs.
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog night?
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.